Loss
by pacejunkie
Summary: Charlie and Ana are getting closer just before her tragic death. Will Charlie cope without his drugs and learn to move on without needing revenge? This story is a sequel to Denial and Faith. Eleven Chapters.


Title: Loss (Charlie/Ana/Claire/Jack)

Rating: PG-13/T

Summary: Charlie and Ana are getting closer just before her tragic death. Will Charlie cope without his drugs and learn to move on without needing revenge? Angst/Tragedy

Warnings: drug references and character deaths  
Status of Fic: Completed  
Author's Notes: **This story is a sequel to Denial and Faith**

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". Isn't that sad?

**Chapter One**

Forty eight hours. It had been roughly forty eight hours since Jack took Charlie's drugs away. Jack reached up and gingerly touched his sore neck as he reflected on the encounter. Even with all his experience as a medical professional Jack was still in disbelief over what Charlie had almost done for his heroin. He tried to kill me, thought Jack.

Jack thought he knew addiction. He had learned about substance abuse and treatment in medical school. He had grown up with an alcoholic father. He'd experienced first hand the pain that a person with addiction can bring upon his loved ones. Jack recalled the disappointment of a ten year old child when his father was too hung over to come to his little league game. He felt the fear of lying awake at night listening from his bedroom as his father would noisily stagger home late and scream at Jack's mother over her frantic questions. He remembered the sounds of dishes being thrown. Jack thought he knew, but this was not a classroom, and alcoholism had been nothing like this.

They had spent that entire first day in the jungle. It had been a one man intervention. Despite a rocky start, Charlie eventually broke down and allowed Jack to help him with what they both knew would be a painful recovery. Jack was there for the last one; he didn't blame Charlie for his fear of reliving the experience. So he had promised to help make it easier this time.

That first night Charlie's physical symptoms were mild. He appeared anxious as if he craved his next fix but the actual pain of withdrawal had not yet kicked in. Jack just gave him some aspirin to take the edge off. The next morning he gave him some more. Jack stopped by to check on Charlie later that day as he was helping to rebuild Eko's church. He didn't feel great, Charlie told him, but he was functioning. Despite a nagging headache and some chills, Charlie was working furiously. Jack assumed that focusing on the work helped to keep his mind off things. He also knew that to Charlie, helping Eko to rebuild was an act of penance. Jack slipped Charlie some more aspirin and left him to his work.

It was now the following morning. Jack knew that the real pain was about to begin and inside he felt for his friend. Even before he arrived at Charlie's tent Jack fully expected that he would be beyond aspirin, so Jack had come prepared. He was determined to keep his promise to make things easier for him.

Jack reached the entrance and looked in. Charlie was sitting up huddled in the corner of his tent, hugging his knees to his chest, whimpering and shaking like a frightened animal. He was soaked in sweat. Charlie didn't even appear to notice at first when Jack entered and knelt down next to him. Then he turned his head slightly, his red watery eyes unfocused, a picture of desperation and pain.

"Jack" said Charlie, his voice quavering in time with his body. Teeth chattering, he appeared to be freezing. "I can't do this. You have to help me."

Jack scanned the cramped interior of the tent for a blanket. He grabbed the one that Charlie used for a bed and wrapped Charlie up in it. Then he reached for his bag, rummaging through until he came up with some water and a small bottle of prescription pills.

"Charlie" said Jack, making eye contact to make sure he had Charlie's attention "aspirin will help with the fever but a lot of what you're feeling right now is anxiety. Now I don't have methadone or anything similar to substitute for the effects of the heroin, but I can help you with the symptoms."

Jack raised the bottle for Charlie to see. "This is diazepam. It's Valium. I can give it to you twice a day. It will help calm you down. Although it can also be addictive, coming off of this will be easier than the heroin as long as you don't take too much."

Even before Jack had finished speaking Charlie was holding out a trembling hand. "I don't care what it is, just give me the bloody things" he demanded.

Jack placed two pills in his hand. Charlie tossed them both back and swallowed them quickly, anxious for their effect.

"How long until they work?" asked Charlie, still shivering despite the blanket that he gripped tightly.

"Not long" said Jack, offering Charlie some water with two aspirin. "You should feel the full effect in about twenty minutes. I'll come by at the end of the day and give you more."

Jack turned and began packing his things back in his bag when he felt a cold and unsteady hand on his arm.

"Don't leave me, mate" pleaded Charlie quietly, "Just stay until they start to work okay?"

Jack paused then he put the bag down and settled himself back in. "Yeah sure" he nodded, "I won't leave."

Jack watched humbled as Charlie closed his eyes and rested his head on his knees. Jack could practically hear him counting away the seconds as Charlie sat, muscles tensed, deep in concentration. Jack thought he knew addiction, but he had no idea.

**Chapter Two**

It had been a difficult night, but the morning was worse. Charlie had woken up with the sun, muscles screaming, bathed in sweat with a pounding headache. He felt so obvious he didn't want to leave his tent to find Jack for fear of the stares and questions of others. Are you okay, they'd ask. Of course I'm not okay, he'd growl, sod off. No, Charlie didn't want to draw that kind of attention, so instead he hid away in his tent and suffered alone, hoping that help would eventually find him.

It did. Jack was nothing if not reliable. Truthfully, Charlie was happier to see the Valium than he was to see Jack. For an instant he recalled the last time he had laid eyes on that drug. He had tried to steal it from Jack's medicine stash after giving his heroin over to Locke. Jack caught him right away. Charlie had never been a very good thief. No matter how desperate he was when he stole, Charlie's conscience always managed to get in the way and screw things up, leaving a subconscious trail of evidence behind as if he secretly wanted to be caught. If he hadn't been feeling like ice cold death Charlie would have smiled at the irony that Jack was now handing him the very thing he had tried to steal. Instead, Charlie simply accepted the pills gratefully.

As promised, within about a half hour the combination of the Valium and the aspirin began to work their magic. Charlie began feeling warmer and he threw off the blanket. His head felt better and his shaking had calmed to a reasonably controllable tremble. Charlie actually felt like he would get through the day.

After Jack had left, Charlie changed his clothes and left his tent. Eko now had many helping hands to work on the church. So much had gotten done the day before that Charlie allowed himself a much needed vacation day. It sounded better than a sick day, but still he decided that to be on the safe side he would not venture far from his tent. He sat out front, lounged back on his elbows and closed his eyes letting the cool breezes wash over him, but although the medicine had calmed his body, it did little for his mind. Getting his mind off the heroin was going to be entirely up to him.

It turned out to be Ana-Lucia who provided the much needed distraction. Charlie was still lying back, eyes closed so he heard her before he saw her.

"Well look at you. Catching some rays?" she asked, while she stood between Charlie and the sun.

He opened his eyes and smiled. "Yeah and you're in my sun so would you mind?"

Ana returned the smile and sat down next to Charlie as he sat up. "Actually I'm glad you're here" he said, "I wanted to thank you for helping me with Eko's church yesterday. The way you got all those people together. I don't know how you managed it, but thank you."

Ana shrugged, "De nada. You'd have done the same for me."

"Well it was brilliant" said Charlie, "but what I really appreciated was how you stood by me when I told you about the heroin. It felt good to be able to tell someone and not face rejection."

Ana's expression turned serious. "I said I wouldn't do what Claire did and I meant it. I want to help you beat this." She regarded Charlie more intently. Charlie felt self conscious wondering if he looked at all like he felt. He must have because Ana asked, "So how are you feeling anyway?"

"Like I want to crawl out of my sodding skin" he said as he scratched his arm unconsciously. "Jack gave me something for the pain but……"

"But you can't get your mind off of it?" suggested Ana, completing his thought.

Charlie looked at Ana, surprised that she understood, "Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly it. I want it Ana. I still do."

Ana returned the look and then leaned closer. "Well maybe I can help take your mind of those drugs" she said and she kissed him.

Oh yeah, this could work, thought Charlie and he returned her affection with some more of his own. Charlie put one hand in her hair and the other around her waist as they kissed, lost in each other, oblivious to the life that went on around them.

**Chapter Three**

Claire felt like her arms were about to break off. Aaron had a good night's sleep but since his first feeding that morning he had done nothing but fuss. Nothing she did had seemed to make a difference as he whined and cried. So she thought maybe a walk would help to calm him. Before she started out she had reached for the blanket sling and then she stopped herself. The homemade baby carrier reminded her of Charlie and she hadn't been able to bring herself to use it since he left. So she carried him, despite the added burden of Aaron's weight on her thin arms.

Although she firmly believed she had done the right thing when she told Charlie to leave, a part of her admitted that she missed his company. Truthfully, no one else paid much attention to her. Once Charlie was no longer believed to be a threat, Locke returned to the hatch, Kate returned to spending time with Sawyer and she was all alone. Claire knew she did what she had to do, but it saddened her.

As much as she and Aaron had been getting to know each other, the infant wasn't much of a conversationalist. She missed being able to talk to Charlie. She missed having someone around who instinctively knew when she needed a break from Aaron and offered to watch him without even being asked. It was more than she had a right to expect from a man who wasn't even the boy's father.

Maybe she had thrown all that away too quickly, she thought, but she simply couldn't let Charlie keep drugs around her baby so what else could she have done? She didn't know if she believed him when he said he wasn't using them. How could she, when he had already been caught lying. The situation saddened her, but was made worse by the fact that despite everything Charlie had done, Claire still missed him.

She walked along the shoreline, bouncing Aaron gently in her arms to keep him happy. As she walked she people watched; everyone seemed so carefree. Most people were in pairs or small groups engaging in this activity or another. When she reached the opposite edge of the camp she saw Sawyer's tent and then Charlie's. She knew Charlie had moved down this way but this was the first time that she had actually seen his new accommodations. She tried to sneak peeks without catching his attention because he was sitting in front of his tent talking to Ana-Lucia, one of the new people from the tail section of the plane, the one who had accidentally killed Shannon.

Claire continued to steal furtive glances, wondering what the two could possibly have in common. In the pit of her stomach she felt a tinge of self pity as they effortlessly engaged in the kind of adult conversation that she longed to have. They seemed to be enjoying each other's company. Then she saw Ana lean in towards Charlie and they began to kiss. Claire was surprised. She had no idea that they had become so close. In all the time she and Charlie had spent together they had never kissed like that. Maybe Charlie was happier now, she thought. Finally, when she was beginning to feel like a voyeur she averted her eyes and left. By the time she returned to her tent Aaron was asleep in her arms.

While Aaron napped in his crib Claire sat nearby thinking. She hadn't been able to get the image of Charlie and Ana-Lucia out of her mind. Maybe it's time I talked to him, Claire thought. Before she could talk herself out of the idea Claire flagged down Libby and asked her to watch Aaron for a few minutes. Then she set off again to the outskirts of the camp.

By the time she arrived she was relieved to see that Ana had gone. Charlie was sitting by himself in front of his tent eating some fruit. If it was possible, Claire thought Charlie seemed thinner than when she had seen him last. She hoped he was taking care of himself.

She walked by as if taking a stroll this far from her tent was something she did every day. Charlie saw her as soon as he looked up.

"Hi Charlie" she said, cautiously.

Charlie just stared back, looking surprised to see her. Finally, as if he didn't want to appear rude he responded, "Claire".

Now what? thought Claire, although she hadn't actually planned that far ahead. Still, Charlie was looking at her expectantly so she felt that the ball was in her court. "Um……how are you?" she said awkwardly.

Charlie shrugged, "I'm good. You?"

"Yeah great" said Claire. She sighed inwardly. This was like pulling teeth, she thought. He wasn't even inviting her to sit down. Thinking she had made a mistake, Claire tried to exit in the most graceful manner she could under the circumstances.

"Well, I was just passing by. I'll see you" she said. Without even waiting for a return farewell, Claire turned to leave. She stopped when she heard her name.

"Claire?" It was Charlie calling after her.

Claire spun around with hope in her eyes. "Yes?" she said.

"How's Aaron doing?" he asked.

The slight smile vanished from Claire's face without a trace. Politely she replied, "He's fine."

Charlie nodded, "That's good. See ya."

"Yeah" said Claire as she left, her heart filling with sadness and regret.

**Chapter Four**

Hurley said goodbye to Libby and headed over to what he dubbed "the watering hole", the public catch basin on the beach where everyone filled up their bottles. He was still struggling to stick to his new diet. Every time he felt like eating he tried drinking water, which was all well and good except that now he felt so full of liquid that he didn't walk so much as slosh. Dieting sucks, thought Hurley, but he was determined to succeed. For Libby.

As he leaned over to fill his bottle he was joined by Charlie carrying two empty containers of his own to be filled.

"Hey mate" said Charlie, head down as he lowered his first bottle into the tub.

"Dude" said Hurley, returning the greeting. Looking down, Hurley noticed Charlie's hands shaking slightly as he filled his bottle. It reminded him of the time in the caves when Charlie had that flu and he could barely hold the cup that Hurley gave him without spilling its contents. "So, how are things?" Hurley asked him.

"Smashing" said Charlie. Despite his appearance, he seemed eager to have someone to talk to. "I just spent some time with Ana" he said proudly.

Hurley's eyebrows raised. He loved gossip and this was certainly an interesting new development. "No kidding?" he said, "So let's have some details, man."

"She's……just really great" said Charlie, searching for the right words. "It's nice to be with someone who knows you're not perfect but still accepts you the way you are, y'know?" Charlie shrugged, slightly embarrassed, as if the conversation had suddenly taken too intimate a turn for guy talk.

But Hurley knew just what he meant and he nodded, "I hear you dude. It's like with Libby. I can't believe my luck."

"Yeah" said Charlie, encouraged by Hurley's response. "It's so different than it was with Claire. I always felt like I couldn't be myself around her, that she wouldn't like me if she knew the real me. With Ana it's different. I don't have to wear a bloody mask all the time."

Hurley smiled, "Hey I'm happy for you man. You've had it pretty rough with Claire. You deserve it."

"Thanks" Charlie replied, and then added, "So, you and Libby huh?"

"Yeah, it's awesome" said Hurley, grinning from ear to ear as he thought of her. "She's awesome……we're awesome."

Charlie laughed although to Hurley he still looked slightly ill. "So how's everything else going?" asked Hurley in an effort to probe more deeply.

Charlie seemed as though he wanted to say something and then he stopped. Instead he rubbed his eyes and answered, "It's good. I think I just need some more sleep." He screwed the caps back on his water bottles and picked them up. "I'll see ya around Hurley."

"Yeah dude later" said Hurley with a wave. He wondered if there was something up with his friend but from what he heard it sounded like things couldn't be better. Charlie and Ana-Lucia, thought Hurley as he strolled back to his tent, well I'll be damned.

**Chapter Five**

It was after sunset and Ana-Lucia was returning to the beach from the hatch. She had spent the afternoon there keeping guard over their prisoner "Henry" as well as a sleeping Michael who had returned on his own that morning to everyone's surprise, collapsing unconscious just in front of the hatch doors. Unfortunately, he had returned without his son Walt and some were anxious to hear the story of his encounter. Ana's instructions were to inform Jack if Michael awoke. When she had left, turning her shift over to Locke, he still had not.

She was heading over to Charlie's tent. She wanted to stop in and check on him before turning in for the night. She was sorry to have to leave him during the day but at the moment there were very few people who were trusted with the responsibility of the hatch. Ana's cop credentials put her at the top of the most wanted list for guard duty and she very much wanted to be included in the loop. As much as she pretended not to care about the acceptance of her peers, it mattered to her what others thought. She was happy that she seemed to be putting the tragic accident of the shooting behind her.

She approached Charlie's tent and peered in. "Knock, knock" she said lightly. Ana froze and stared, her smile fading when she saw Charlie lying on his side in the tent, eyes screwed shut and shaking like a leaf.

She crouched down behind him put a hand on his shoulder and spoke softly, "Hey. Charlie it's Ana."

Charlie opened his eyes but stared straight ahead. He managed to say weakly, "Hi."

"What's going on?" she asked, "Didn't you get your pills from Jack?"

Charlie shivered and appeared to struggle with every word, "He was just here, but the Valium hasn't kicked in yet."

Ana looked at Charlie with concern. Until now she hadn't seen him like this and it frightened her. For the first time she realized what he was really going through. Finally she stretched out beside him on the thin blanket and wrapped her arm around him, holding his hand. "Don't worry" she said, "I'll stay here until you fall asleep. Just close your eyes and try to relax."

Charlie nodded once and grasped her hand tightly. They lay front to back like spoons. After about fifteen minutes, she felt his trembling begin to subside as the medicine took effect. Under her touch, Charlie felt less tense and she could sense he was drifting off into sleep, although he still held on to her hand. Ana lay still, contemplating whether to slip away or to stay there in case Charlie woke up in the night. As she debated what to do, she sensed a presence and turned her head towards the opening of the tent. She was confronted with the sight of Claire, who stood peering in. Not wanting to disturb Charlie, Ana just stared in silence. Claire seemed mortified as if she had intruded on something private and immediately turned and left. Ana smiled to herself cattily as she wondered what it was Claire thought she saw. In the end she closed her eyes and decided to stay.

The next morning Ana awoke and watched as Charlie began to stir. When he turned and saw her he seemed a bit surprised to find her still there.

"Were you here all night?" he asked, groggily.

Ana smiled, "You didn't seem like you wanted to be alone. I didn't want you to wake up and find me gone. How are you feeling?"

Charlie took a minute before answering as if he was assessing his condition, then he sat up and rubbed at his eyes. "Okay I think. It should be getting easier by now."

"I think it will" reassured Ana. "I have to go guard our hatch prisoner today. Is Jack gonna come by this morning with more meds?"

"Yeah" said Charlie, "You can go ahead, I'll be okay." He shook his head and added, "Wow. You really stayed here all night?"

Ana smiled again when she realized that her gesture was appreciated. "Yeah, I did. Can I leave you with something else to remember me by?" she asked as she kissed him.

When they parted Charlie asked, "Can I meet you there later when you're done?"

"Sure" said Ana as she rose to leave the tent, "Come meet me for lunch."

"Mangos or papayas?" asked Charlie with a grin.

"Surprise me" Ana replied playfully.

Just before she exited Charlie spoke one last time, "Ana?" Ana turned to look back at Charlie. His expression had taken on a more serious tone.

"Be careful" he said. Ana smiled again over his concern and left.

Before heading to the hatch Ana had one stop to make. She had not forgotten her wordless encounter with Claire the previous night. She didn't know Claire's purpose in stopping by but Ana wanted to talk to her to set a few things straight. Charlie finally seemed to be putting Claire behind him and she didn't appreciate her coming back around to stir things up again. She felt a need to protect Charlie from any game Claire might be playing and she wanted to make sure there were no misunderstandings.

She found Claire in her tent. She was writing in her diary with Aaron asleep in his crib. Claire looked up when she approached.

"Claire, can I talk to you?" said Ana.

Claire seemed stunned but collected herself quickly, put down her diary and responded coldly, "What is it Ana?"

Ana put her hands on her hips in a defiant stance. "I came to tell you to stay away from Charlie. You've hurt him enough."

Claire stared at Ana. Finally, she responded, repeating Ana's words, incredulous, "I hurt _him_? You have no idea what you're talking about."

"I think I do" said Ana. "You were so busy worrying about yourself that you forgot Charlie was your friend and that he needed you. He almost died for you Claire. He was there when your baby was born. He stood by you and believed in you through every crisis. Yes he lied to you. He lied to you because he had a drug problem. You're the one who has no idea. You have no idea how you let him down."

Claire was clearly affected by Ana's words but was attempting to maintain a protective shield. "What happened between Charlie and me is none of your business. I know what you're after. I've seen you two together" said Claire, her voice shaking.

"I'm not 'after' anything" said Ana. "I care about Charlie and I don't want to see him get hurt again. If you care about him you'll think twice before coming around next time."

Without waiting for a response, Ana turned and left. She was already late for hatch duty.

**Chapter Six**

Charlie whistled as he walked along the path to the hatch. He carried with him a full pack of food and water, while he made plans in his head for where he and Ana would go to share it. Shortly after Ana left that morning Jack came by with his daily Valium. Charlie took them and hung around his tent until they started to work. Charlie had to admit to himself that he was starting to feel a bit better. It was now his fourth day without heroin and the worst of the withdrawal was beginning to subside. Jack told him that he would like to see Charlie begin to back off the Valium by the end of the week. Charlie knew he was getting to like the drug's effect, and that was no good. He agreed it would be best to shake it soon before he began to crave it.

Charlie's thoughts returned to Ana-Lucia. He wasn't quite sure what Ana saw in him but he chose not to question it too deeply. Charlie had to admit that on the surface they seemed like an odd pair. She was a cop after all, but he was falling for her despite himself. He had never felt so completely comfortable with someone like he did with Ana. His brain tried to tell his heart to take it slow. Charlie had a tendency to screw things up when he went too fast. This time it would be different, he told himself.

When he had the hatch door in his sights however he started to pick up his pace, in defiance of his own vow. It had been only a few hours but Charlie was anxious to see Ana again. She seemed to care for him in a way that no one had in a long time, and although he hated to think about it in these terms, he found the feeling addictive. If it's not one thing it's another with me, thought Charlie with resignation, I'm hopelessly obsessive.

He reached the hatch and entered. By the time he got inside he was practically running. He burst into the living area and promptly tripped over something low in his path, taking a spill and crying out as he hit the floor hard.

"Bloody hell, some entrance" Charlie muttered to himself annoyed, feeling foolish as he pushed himself up with a sore shoulder. He turned back to see what he had tripped over and his eyes widened in shock when he realized it was not a something, but a someone. Libby. She was lying across the threshold at the entrance to the room, perfectly still, a trail of blood on the floor. Charlie knew she was dead if his tripping over her hadn't caused her to stir. He gasped as he pushed himself back, startled at the horrific sight. When he recovered he turned his head and scanned the room and then his eyes froze on the couch.

Ana was sitting up, arms out wide, head cocked to the side like a marionette puppet whose strings had been cut, abandoned by its creator. As Charlie stared at her he saw two lifeless eyes staring back at him.

"No. NO!" Charlie shot up from the floor and ran to Ana, forgetting the pain from his clumsy fall. He wanted to do something for her but he knew she was already dead, so instead he sat down next to her. "Ana?" he said, tears spilling instantly. She had been shot in the chest and her blood had pooled around her lap. The sight caused him to feel a sympathetic pain in his own chest. Charlie put his arm around her neck and held her close. "Oh God, please don't leave me" he cried.

Charlie suddenly felt profoundly alone, as if he were the only person left in the world. Then he felt a second emotion welling up that threatened to overtake his grief. Anger. Slowly, Charlie began to feel that he wanted to know who did this. He wanted to know who to blame. Who should pay.

Charlie pulled back from Ana and kissed her cold forehead. When he recovered from the initial shock Charlie realized that he had gone to Ana without even considering his own safety. It was possible that whoever did this might still be around. Charlie almost wished that the killer was standing behind him and pointing a gun at him too, ready to shoot. Then he heard a sound. It was a moan, deep like a male voice and it came from behind him where the gun locker was. Charlie pivoted around on the couch and saw Michael on the floor in the armory. He was moving.

Charlie got up and went to him. He had also been shot. Charlie wiped his tears on the sleeve of his sweatshirt and knelt down. Michael was breathing heavily as if in pain but his eyes remained closed.

"Michael? Can you hear me?" said Charlie. Charlie noticed that apart from Michael the cell was empty. Their prisoner was gone. It seemed obvious what had happened and yet much was still a mystery. Michael was barely conscious and Charlie knew he needed to get help. "Hang on, I'm gonna get Jack" said Charlie as he stood and ran from the hatch, carefully slowing down to step over Libby's body this time.

As he ran through the jungle his mind raced with possibility. There was simply too much to process at the moment. Then Charlie remembered Hurley. In his shock and grief, he hadn't even stopped to think about the effect Libby's death would have on Hurley. All he knew was that there was still a chance that Michael could be saved. He began to cry again as a photo image of Ana's body flashed in his mind, jolting him like an electric shock. If only Jack could fix this, thought Charlie.

**Chapter Seven**

They were almost at the hatch and still Jack didn't know the whole story. All Charlie had told him initially was that something had happened in the hatch and that he had to come quick. He could tell from Charlie's expression that he wasn't talking about the button being pushed. Charlie looked like he'd seen a ghost and Jack noticed there was blood on Charlie's shirt. He was so out of breath he could barely speak. Jack guessed whatever Charlie saw made him sprint all the way back to the beach. Jack forced him to stop and take a few deep breaths before he would hear what he had to say.

Kate and Hurley were both there on the beach with Jack. When Charlie arrived frantic, interrupting their conversation and rambling on about the hatch Hurley had started to turn away, but then Charlie called him back and told Hurley that he had better come too. Now Jack knew why. On the way back while Kate walked with Hurley behind them Charlie talked to Jack quietly. Jack learned that Ana and Libby were both dead and that Michael had been shot as well. Unfortunately, Charlie didn't know much more except that their prisoner Henry was gone. Jack kept the information to himself preferring not to upset Hurley although he knew it would be better if he were told before he saw her. Finding out that way didn't exactly do wonders for Charlie and he wanted Hurley to be spared the same shock.

They reached the entrance and Jack stopped. Jack and Charlie exchanged looks. Finally Jack turned to Kate.

"Kate, you come with me. Hurley, stay out here with Charlie. He needs to talk to you first." Without waiting for an answer, Jack and Kate disappeared into the hatch.

Jack was as prepared as he could possibly be for the sight that awaited him. Just before they turned the corner into the main den area, Jack told Kate about the shooting. Kate gasped when she saw the bodies. As she checked them Jack raced past and went straight to Michael, the one victim whom he at least had a chance of saving. Michael had lost some blood but his wound was superficial and it appeared that he would recover.

Jack called over to Kate who was still with the bodies but appeared to be in a trance from the shock. Jack's voice visibly snapped Kate back to attention, "Kate, go back to where the medical supplies are. I need peroxide, bandages and suture needle and thread."

Kate sprang into action and left the room. She returned a moment later. She watched while Jack prepared to clean, stitch and dress the wound.

Kate took advantage of the relative calm and spoke, "Jack what happened here? Did that prisoner do this?"

"I don't know" said Jack, "but it sure looks that way." Jack kept working. He hadn't allowed himself the luxury yet of stopping to mourn for Ana and Libby. There would be time for that later. Jack was so busy he had forgotten about Hurley when out of the corner of his eye, he saw him appear with Charlie at his side.

Hurley's face was creased with a deep frown as he slowly knelt down next to Libby's body. Jack saw Hurley move the blanket she held in front of her. She was apparently shot twice in the chest. At first glance when Jack had entered the room it appeared that Ana was shot once with a direct hit at close range, but Jack was no expert. Charlie moved closer to where Ana was but then he just sank to the floor and sat at her feet as if he was unable to negotiate the distance.

The silence was broken by Hurley. "We were having a picnic" said Hurley. "She came to the hatch to get blankets. Because I asked her too."

It sounded like Hurley was blaming himself for what happened to Libby. Jack spoke from where he worked, "Hurley, this wasn't your fault. We don't know what happened, but we're gonna find out."

"Jack I think it's obvious what happened" said Kate to Jack quietly. "The question is what are we gonna do about it?"

Jack didn't answer and instead focused on Michael. When he finished he looked around at his group of mourners and said, as delicately as he could, "Can someone help me get Michael over to the bed?"

Hurley was staring down at Libby. Jack glanced over at Charlie. He was sitting with a faraway stare as if he hadn't heard. He appeared to be lost in his own head. Finally, when it was clear that no one else would, Kate volunteered, "I'll do it."

They lifted Michael and carried him over to the bed, laying him down in it. Jack turned to Kate, "Thanks. He's lost consciousness from the blood loss but he should be coming back around soon and hopefully we'll learn more." Jack turned and looked at Michael, "He's the only one that can tell us."

Kate listened and then asked, "Is there anything else you need me to do?"

Jack thought for a moment. Then he remembered the other two victims and their grieving partners. With his eyes, Jack indicated towards the adjacent room, a pained expression on his face. "We're gonna need the bodies cleared out of here and two graves dug. Then people on the beach are gonna have to be told."

Kate nodded. "I'll get some help and take care of it. Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah" Jack replied, "but I think you should be asking that to them". Jack pointed to Charlie and Hurley who still sat in silence. Jack knew that both Charlie and Hurley had begun spending time with Ana and Libby. The two friends would now have each other to console. He had seen Hurley and Libby from a distance, but he knew first hand that Charlie and Ana had grown particularly close and Jack wondered whether this tragedy would affect Charlie's recovery. Fortunately as far as Jack knew, Charlie didn't have access to any drugs to abuse.

About fifteen minutes after Kate left others began to arrive. Eko, Locke and Sawyer entered and began quietly assisting with the bodies. Charlie and Hurley finally had to move just to get out of the way, but neither was in any condition to assist and everyone understood. Kate approached Jack who stood at the doorway to the bedroom, watching the activity, leaning against the doorframe for support.

"Jack" she said, "Why don't you go get some air? I can watch Michael. You look like you need a break."

The blood soaked couch was no longer an option for a quick nap so Jack agreed. "Come get me if he wakes up."

"Okay" said Kate.

Jack pushed his way through the gathering crowd and exited the hatch. As soon as he emerged back out into the jungle he realized he was being trailed by Charlie. Jack was surprised to see him, assuming he would be reluctant to leave Ana's side.

"Jack" said Charlie, "Wait."

Jack stopped and turned. Charlie looked worn out, eyes red, like he could barely stand up. "Are you okay, Charlie?" he asked.

Charlie's eyes darted left and right, doing everything to avoid eye contact, searching for the appropriate response, "Um. I was hoping……it's just……maybe I could get some more Valium?"

Jack sighed, "Charlie we're trying to wean you off it. Now it's been four days. I thought you told me this morning your symptoms were decreasing."

"They are," said Charlie, "sort of. I just could really use it right now."

Jack ran a hand through his hair. He supposed he should have expected this. He took a moment to formulate a response and then he spoke, "Charlie, I'm sorry about what happened to Ana. What happened in there affected all of us. It's painful, but it's normal to feel that pain. You have to let yourself feel it. You have to grieve."

"I can't" said Charlie, tears welling up again.

"I'm sorry" said Jack, "I'm here for you to talk to but I can't give you more drugs. They're not what you need right now."

Charlie just stood, helpless. He seemed at a loss as to how to function without a drug to turn to. Jack suddenly felt that Charlie shouldn't be alone.

"Come back to the beach with me," Jack suggested. "Just give yourself a break, have some rest. There's nothing you can do right now. There'll be a burial later and then you can say goodbye."

Jack took Charlie's silence as acceptance and he turned to leave. Charlie put his head down and followed.

**Chapter Eight**

Sayid stood next to Kate, his arms crossed, listening intently as Jack relayed Michael's story. At the same time his mind was working furiously, questioning every detail. According to Jack, late last night Michael had awoken and claimed that their prisoner "Henry" had overpowered him, stolen a weapon and shot him, Ana and Libby before escaping.

Yes, Sayid thought, that was very possible, but was it the only explanation or was there another? Henry was tied up, how could he have gotten loose and stolen a gun? And why the senseless killings? Henry could have escaped with the sight of a weapon and a mere threat. Murder was unnecessary. Sayid had a gift of sensing when pieces didn't fit, but because Michael was one of their own and among the injured, they had no choice but to trust him. For now. Secretly however, Sayid wondered whether Michael had indeed returned on his own or whether he was sent back to them. Was it mere coincidence that Henry finally managed to escape upon Michael's return?

It had been an overwhelming 24 hours. After the bodies were discovered and removed, graves had been dug. Later that evening everyone on the beach gathered for a memorial service. Sayid saw the assembly from a respectful distance. He had had enough of funerals since Shannon's and the mere sight of the wrapped bodies and mounds of dirt was enough to bring back painful memories. He felt for both Hurley and Charlie. What Sayid had gone through he did not wish upon anyone. Now two more of their people had died violent deaths and were being mourned by two others who cared for them. More than ever Sayid wanted the Others to be held accountable for all they had wrought.

Jack was now telling Sayid and Kate about Michael's trip across the island, and his sighting of the Others' camp.

"He says he knows they're holding Walt" said Jack, "and that there were only about 20 of them and they were barely armed. He wants us to get a group together and go rescue his son."

"Did he see Walt?" asked Sayid.

"No" Jack conceded, "but somehow he knows he's there."

"I see" said Sayid. He paused and then asked, "About these weapons. When you returned from your last encounter you said that the bearded man made you, Locke and Sawyer turn over all of your weapons in exchange for Kate. You said that Michael took a rifle with him when he left and yet he returns without one. Clearly these people are armed."

"Don't forget the fake beards and costumes I saw" added Kate. "Why would Michael say they were all dressed that way if we found the clothes in a locker and know that it's all an act?" Kate turned to Sayid. "Why wasn't Henry dressed that way when you found him?" she asked.

Jack nodded, "I'll admit there are some holes in his story, but he's been out in the jungle a long time. When he returned he was exhausted and within a day of returning he was injured. It's possible the stress of what happened is clouding his memory. All he wants is to get Walt back."

Sayid carefully considered all that he had heard. Finally he said, "Even if Michael is telling the truth we do not have enough information right now to stage a rescue. We need to gather intelligence, to find out where they are keeping Walt and whether the area is guarded."

Jack responded, "Are you suggesting a reconnaissance mission?"

Sayid nodded, "We can take a small group to scout the area and observe. When we understand what we are facing we will be better equipped to return, find Walt and bring him back safely." After a pause Sayid added, "A scouting mission would have another benefit."

"What's that?" asked Kate.

Sayid's expression turned deadly serious, "If Michael is lying, we will find out now before we sacrifice an army."

As Sayid's words hung in the air he looked over Jack's shoulder and saw Charlie. He had apparently caught the gist of their conversation because as soon as Sayid finished speaking Charlie said, "I'm going with you."

The group looked at Charlie in unison. The first to speak was Jack. "No, Charlie. Ana was just laid to rest. You need to give yourself time……"

"Stop talking to me like a bloody child!" shouted Charlie, "I don't need time. Those animals tried to kill me, they abducted Claire, they killed Ana, no one has more of a right to go than me!"

Sayid knew that Jack was only being protective of Charlie but he believed Charlie was right. In light of all he had suffered he did have a right to go. Despite Jack's misgivings, Charlie deserved answers more than anyone and was entitled to be part of this mission.

"Charlie" said Sayid, in deference to Jack "this is only a scouting mission. If Jack is concerned stay here for now and join us on the rescue mission."

Charlie stared intently at Sayid. For a moment, it appeared that Charlie was going to concede. Then he shocked everyone when he said, "Take me with you and I can get you the guns."

"What guns?" asked Jack.

"The guns that Sawyer took. I know where they are" said Charlie, "Let me go with you and they're yours."

Sayid looked at Jack and Kate. This was something entirely unexpected. Until now they had been unable to get Sawyer to give up the guns for anything. If Charlie knew where they were, they would avoid that obstacle completely.

Without waiting for Jack to come up with another reason for Charlie to stay behind, Sayid quickly agreed, "Alright. You show us where the guns are and then join us."

Charlie gave Jack a long defiant look and then he looked back to Sayid and said, "Follow me."

Charlie revealed the location of the weapons. They each selected one and then hid the rest in a new hiding place where Sawyer wouldn't find them. A short while later Jack, Kate, Sayid, Charlie and Michael were armed and hiking through the jungle on their way to the Others' camp.

Sayid's finely tuned intuition told him immediately that if Charlie knew where the guns were, he had likely been working with Sawyer when they were stolen. He wondered whether Charlie would fear Sawyer's wrath for his betrayal when they returned. Charlie wanted so badly to come on this mission, thought Sayid, that he was willing to reveal a large secret at tremendous risk. It made Sayid wonder what Charlie's true intentions were for coming if he would do such a thing.

As soon as Charlie was a few steps away from the group and out of earshot, Sayid approached him. He spoke quietly, "How is it that you knew where the guns were Charlie?"

Charlie kept his head down as he walked, ignoring Sayid's question. Sayid persisted. "When Shannon died, I was so full of anger I wanted to strike out at anyone that I thought had anything to do with her death" he said. Charlie continued to look down but this time Sayid could tell he was listening. He continued, "Locke betrayed and humiliated you. I understand how strong the desire for revenge can be. Sometimes it causes us to do things that we later regret."

As he said these words Charlie looked up and stared at Sayid. He seemed slightly worried, like Sayid had looked into his soul. Sayid had suspected that Charlie may have been involved in Sun's attack but his reaction at that moment confirmed it. Sayid's intention was not to condemn Charlie however, but to make him see that revenge was not always the answer, although Sayid knew he still carried revenge in his own heart. When Sayid looked at Charlie it was like looking into a mirror, and although Sayid still felt that he wanted justice to be done, he also knew that revenge carried a price. Regardless of his own desires, he didn't want to see Charlie have to pay it.

"Why are you here, Charlie?" he asked, "are you looking for answers, or are you looking for someone to punish for Ana's death?"

"You're a right one to talk, mate" said Charlie, "or were you looking for answers all over Henry's face?"

Touché, thought Sayid, feeling transparent. Lamely, he responded, "That was a mistake."

"A mistake?" said Charlie with eyebrows raised and a glimpse of a smirk appearing and then fading away as his expression turned cold "Well I can make mistakes too".

Sayid decided not to press the matter. Charlie's words caused him to realize that he was probably the last person who should be offering this kind of advice. The two continued in silence on their way to the Others' camp.

**Chapter Nine**

After an entire days' hike the group reached the edge of the Others' camp. Charlie was tired and had a slight headache. He wished he had been able to convince Jack to give him more Valium. Jack was now limiting his dose to only once a day but Charlie desperately needed something to fill the void that Ana left behind. Ana was his anchor. She had been helping him with his recovery and now Charlie felt adrift, like he had been cut loose.

After the funeral last night Charlie went to sleep and had a nightmare. He was inside the Beech-craft plane, the one that contained the heroin statues. The plane was in flight. He could see the statues everywhere at his feet. He felt himself drawn to them but then he noticed Ana sitting next to him, holding his hand. Then Charlie looked away and when he turned back Ana was gone. In her place was their prisoner who called himself Henry Gale. Charlie stood surprised and backed away until he found himself standing in front of the plane's open hatch. Henry followed and with both hands pushed Charlie out of the door, sending him freefalling. The sensation caused Charlie to wake up startled, gripping his blankets. It felt like a heart attack. He still couldn't believe Ana was gone.

Charlie's attention was brought back to the present by Michael's hand signals. He was whispering that they were approaching the camp and indicating that everyone should crouch down low and hide in the tall grasses. Everyone bent and crawled through the grass until they came to the edge. Through the cover Charlie could see a camp of tents in the distance. To his left and right was more dense jungle. Charlie drew his weapon and waited, looking to Sayid for instruction. Sayid scanned the area, getting a visual lay of the land.

"Alright" said Sayid softly, "We should split up and approach from different directions, observe as much as we can and then regroup. Charlie, you come with me and we'll go left. Jack, Kate and Michael will go to the right. Look for Walt, look for weapons, watch the people going in and out of their tents."

Charlie nodded and prepared to make his move, when Michael spoke. "Guys, wait. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, but they're holding my son and they promised we could be together. I had to do this."

Charlie stared at Michael, attempting to process his words, when Michael stood and ran out in the open towards the camp. Jack, Kate, Sayid and Charlie all looked at each other trying to understand what just happened, when as soon as Michael left they were suddenly fired upon.

At first they dropped flat onto the ground as shots rang out from both sides of the jungle in front of them. Then they scattered. Charlie crawled away for cover as Sayid began to return fire. From behind a large rock Charlie saw Sayid shooting blindly at the jungle to his right while Kate took cover behind him. Charlie scanned the area for Jack and then found him out in front, pinned down in the open by gunfire and unable to escape. Charlie took two shots in the general direction of the source, although he could see no one. The shooting ceased for a second and then started again. Try as he might, he was unable to distract the shooter long enough for Jack to take cover. Charlie knew he would have to get closer.

The shooter's attentions seemed focused on Jack so Charlie took advantage of that and sprinted to the nearest tree. Stopping behind the tree he took another shot into the dense brush but was afraid to waste any more bullets without knowing what he was shooting at. With Jack still under fire, Charlie bent down and crept closer still. He moved along a few more feet when he spotted the barrel of a gun poking out from between the leaves. Charlie's heart began to beat wildly. He had never felt so terrified and yet so in the moment.

Charlie straightened up tall and aimed his weapon in the direction of the gun. He could have continued to shoot into the trees but he wanted to see the face of the enemy. He wanted to understand evil, to be able to look into its eyes and somehow make sense of Ana's death. "Come out" he shouted in anger, "I see you there!"

The gunfire ceased. The silence was equally as deafening and it felt to Charlie as if time had stopped. He was aware of nothing but the rustling of the leaves in his sights. Then a figure slowly rose from the bushes like a phoenix.

Charlie stood transfixed. The face of the enemy was a woman. Young, with dark features, long raven hair and a blank stare. She so resembled Ana that Charlie's eyes opened wide and he gasped. Images of Ana's dead body again flashed in his mind as Charlie realized he couldn't shoot this woman. His gun was still raised but his hands began to shake. "Ana?" Charlie whispered confused, choking back tears as he slowly lowered his weapon.

As soon as his gun came down, the woman's weapon came up. Instantly she aimed and fired. Charlie tried to dive but his reflexes were slowed by his shock and grief. Charlie heard Jack yelling his name and then he felt the ground as he landed heavily with his arm on fire.

Charlie clenched his teeth to hold back the screams. His arm was spurting blood. He tried to apply pressure with his other hand but it shook too badly to be of any use. Jack, Sayid and Kate were surrounding him within seconds. Jack and Kate knelt beside him while Sayid stood watch for more snipers with his weapon ready.

Jack pulled a towel from his pack and pressed it to the wound. "Hold on Charlie," he said. Then he turned to Kate, who was holding Charlie's shoulders down to keep him still, "Kate, there's an extra shirt in my bag, take it and tear off a long strip."

As Jack began to tie the cloth around Charlie's upper arm to stop the bleeding, Charlie looked up at him. "Jack" said Charlie, struggling to speak between breaths and shooting stabs of pain, "I'm sorry. I couldn't shoot."

Jack looked at him, "It's okay. You're not cut out to be a killer after all."

Jack removed the towel to inspect the wound, and Charlie cried out as Jack painfully lifted his arm to look at the back. "The good news is there's a clean exit wound. That means there's no bullet to remove" he said to Sayid and Kate, "but we're going to have to retreat to a safe distance so I can treat him."

"The Others appear to have gone" Charlie heard Sayid say, and upon hearing his words he noticed the shooting had stopped. Sayid continued, "Our only purpose may have been to bring Michael back safely. By injuring someone, they have made sure that we must turn back. It's getting dark. We shall have to get started and find a place to make camp."

Charlie felt himself being lifted up and supported by Jack as they turned and headed back in the direction they came. They walked until they found a clearing surrounded by rock where they could safely make camp.

By the time they stopped, Charlie was getting lightheaded and his vision was blurred. Jack eased him down to the ground and reached for his supplies while Sayid and Kate got a fire started. Charlie listened to their soft murmuring voices until his eyelids began to feel heavy. He was grateful for the eventual unconsciousness that claimed him and spared him from the pain.

**Chapter Ten**

Whenever Sawyer had the opportunity, he liked to sneak away and check on them. It gave him a feeling of security just knowing that the guns were there. Obtaining them wasn't easy; in fact he had needed an accomplice to do it. Sawyer preferred to work alone these days. He had worked with partners numerous times in the past and it never ended well. Partners could look you in the eye and stab you in the back all the while making you think they were doing you a favour. He'd been duped by partners, double-crossed, threatened and coerced. Having not met another confidence man on the island, Sawyer assumed that once he was stranded here his days as a co-conspirator were over. Then came the day he needed to get control of those guns, and Sawyer knew he wouldn't be able to do it alone. So against his better judgment, he roped himself an accomplice.

Charlie represented opportunity knocking on his door. The man was low-down and desperate. He had wigged out with Claire, stolen her baby and suffered a humiliating public dressing down by Locke. Sawyer could practically smell the anger. Charlie was primed to do just about anything to get even with old baldy.

Working with a partner in a con was always a temporary marriage of convenience. You didn't really want to be together, but each of you had needs that were begging to be fulfilled. It was symbiosis, a coming together for a moment in time until the goals were met. Sawyer had his goal and Charlie his. Both could be met with one common plan.

Sawyer reflected on his brief alliance with Charlie as he went to check on the guns, walking through the jungle, checking for sounds, watching for wandering eyes. When he was sure he was alone he uncovered the camouflaged pit and peered in. No, thought Sawyer, no frigging way. Son of a ……

Never trust a junkie, thought Sawyer. What was this world coming to when there was no honour among thieves? Charlie is going to regret the day he was born. Without pausing, he turned and stormed back to camp.

As he walked he only got angrier, and the emotion caused him to quicken his pace, steeped in determination. Just who did that runt think he was dealing with? Maybe Ana-Lucia's death finally sent him over the deep end. Yeah, that's it, Sawyer decided, he must have a death wish, because no man who values his life crosses me.

Sawyer reached Charlie's tent and found it empty. Of course, he thought, the coward's probably hiding out. Clenching his fists, he turned to the only person in the vicinity he thought might know Charlie's whereabouts. Claire was standing nearby, holding Aaron, chatting with Rose. Sawyer approached her.

"Where is he?" he demanded, fuming.

Conversation stopped as Claire turned to Sawyer, confusion on her young face. "What are you talking about? Where is who?" she asked.

"You know who," said Sawyer, "your rock star baby daddy. I want his head on a platter!"

Claire's expression turned severe. "I don't know where Charlie is. We haven't exactly been joined at the hip lately. Or haven't you noticed?"

"I saw you two talking the other day" Sawyer replied, "I thought you might know where he's been spending his time."

Claire paused, shooting arrows with her eyes. "I think I heard something about him going with Michael and Sayid to rescue Walt. That's all I know."

Sawyer sighed in frustration and turned away. This was getting him nowhere. Even if she did know more she certainly wouldn't tell him. Sawyer got the feeling that Claire still cared about the guy, despite what he did to her. Love sure is blind, he thought and he pondered his next move. There was nothing to do but wait for his return. He decided to hang out in the little weasel's tent and surprise him.

Charlie returned with the group about a half hour later. Sawyer saw them approaching from the entrance to Charlie's tent. He didn't see any weapons on them and he noticed Michael wasn't there. As curious as Sawyer was about that, he had other more pressing matters to attend to first. Charlie was walking slowly towards his tent with his head down. He didn't notice Sawyer sitting there until he was almost on top of him.

"Surprise" said Sawyer, with the smile of a hungry cat.

Charlie stopped on cue and looked at him. He appeared unfazed. "What the bloody hell do you want?" he asked.

"I'll give you three guesses" said Sawyer as he stood to his full height, "Where are the guns?"

Charlie returned Sawyer's stare but said nothing. Then he turned and started to walk away. Sawyer followed, yelling after him, "Just where do you think you're going? If you wanted a gun to go chasing down some killers all you had to do was ask, but no, you had to go steal from me!"

Charlie stopped in his tracks and turned back, "I didn't steal anything. Those guns belonged to the camp. We needed them. Sayid said you weren't giving them up."

Sawyer wasn't going to be made to answer to any of this. He only cared about one thing. "Where are they?" he demanded again.

"Bugger off" said Charlie and he turned away again.

Sawyer reached out and grabbed Charlie's arm which for the first time he noticed was bandaged and taped. Sawyer didn't have time to register the effect it would have to pull back on Charlie's injured arm before he yanked. Charlie cried out and dropped to his knees in obvious pain. He stayed down with his eyes shut tight, fists clenched, riding it out until it passed.

He didn't want to appear concerned but his curiosity got the better of him. "What the hell happened to you?" asked Sawyer.

"Nothing," sighed Charlie, recovering, "Shut up and leave me alone." Charlie pushed himself up with his good arm and tried to leave again.

Sawyer didn't really care what happened. He wasn't letting Charlie off this easy. With two hands he shoved Charlie from behind, "You best be taking me to those guns right now boy!" Charlie stumbled a bit but kept walking.

That was it. Sawyer was tired of being ignored by this two bit punk. His rage took over and he jumped Charlie, bringing him down onto the sand and landing punches in his stomach. Charlie wasn't putting up much of a fight. It was a little unfair, thought Sawyer. It was like he was just asking for it. Sawyer almost wished he would fight back. The last thing Sawyer wanted was to feel sorry for him.

Sawyer was so focused on what he was doing that he forgot he was surrounded by a beach full of people. He heard nothing until he recognized a familiar woman's voice. She was at his back, pulling at his arm, screaming at him to stop.

**Chapter Eleven**

Claire didn't think she had ever spent so much time on this side of the beach, and yet here she was again. Since first spotting Charlie's tent down this way, Claire had found herself drawn here, pulled by some inexplicable force. Was it jealousy? Loneliness? She was still angry at Charlie; at least she wanted to be, but after her confrontation with Ana she was less sure of herself. Then Ana was murdered. Claire's first thoughts were of Charlie and how he was coping. Try as she might to admonish herself for thinking of him and his welfare, Claire knew she was softening. She recalled that he didn't look well when she saw him last, when they had that terribly awkward conversation outside his tent. Actually, calling it a conversation was being generous. No, she decided, he didn't look well then, and that was before Ana's death.

Claire could come up with plenty of excuses for being here. Rose and Bernard lived out this way. So did Hurley. If Charlie spotted her she could always come up with some reason for her sudden invasion of his space. Any excuse would do to cover for what Claire knew was the real reason. She wanted a chance to start over, to trust him again and have Charlie know that he could trust her in return. Claire now saw that as the missing element in their relationship before. Charlie lied to her because he didn't trust her with the truth. He was afraid she would behave just as she had. Once again Charlie was right, Claire thought. He knew Aaron better than I did and he knows me better than myself.

She was chatting with Rose when Sawyer had stormed over, demanding to be told Charlie's whereabouts. Claire wished she knew. She was beginning to get worried because the group had left the day before and had still not returned. But she wasn't about to tell Sawyer that. Whatever he wanted with Charlie, it didn't sound good. Claire knew Sawyer wasn't just looking for someone to play poker with. When she saw Sawyer plant himself near Charlie's tent, Claire decided to extend her friendly visit with Rose.

"My, isn't he just the sweetest thing?" said Rose, cooing and smiling at Aaron in Claire's arms. Aaron smiled in return, encouraging the attention.

"Would you like to hold him?" asked Claire. She didn't know Rose very well, but she sensed that the woman either had grandchildren, or wished very strongly that she had.

Rose beamed at Claire with a wide smile and held out her arms. "Come here, you" she sang as Aaron was happily transferred over. Claire was relieved for the short break. Not very many people on the island were comfortable with infants. It always amazed her that Charlie was so comfortable. She had no idea where he could have gotten that from. Maybe he had little siblings, cousins, a niece or nephew, she wondered, because Charlie seemed like a natural with babies. At times it made her feel terribly insecure, because she didn't feel as though she were blessed with the same gift. Being a parent was downright hard, but Charlie made it seem effortless.

After a few more minutes had passed Claire saw the group return to the beach and go off in their separate directions. Charlie was heading back to his tent. She noticed he seemed tired, and his arm was bandaged. He was looking down and didn't notice Sawyer. As Rose played with Aaron, Claire found her attention wandering to the two men several meters away. She was unable to hear what they were saying, but she had a clear vantage point and could read their body language. Sawyer stood up and Charlie walked away.

Claire's attentions were brought back by Rose, who must have noticed that Claire's mind was somewhere far away.

"Is everything all right honey?" she asked Claire.

Claire snapped back around as if waking from a trance. "Yeah, sure. I'm sorry. Did you say something?"

Rose looked down at Aaron, bouncing him up and down in her arms in a playful manner, "I was just saying if you ever need anyone to look after this little guy for you, I'd be happy to."

Claire was touched, "Rose, that's so sweet. Thank you."

Rose nodded, "Being a single mother is bad enough, but a single mother stranded on an island with a bunch of strangers, honey I can't even imagine what it's like for you."

Claire smiled and then as politely as she could she turned her attention back to Sawyer and Charlie. She lost sight of them for a moment because they were no longer at Charlie's tent. Then she spotted them further down the beach. At first she only saw Sawyer. Then she found Charlie down on the ground. Sawyer had him pinned and was hitting him repeatedly.

Claire gasped and took off running. No one else on the beach seemed to care to intervene; some were watching with mild curiosity and others were pretending not to notice that one of their beach mates was busy beating up another.

Claire reached the pair and grabbed Sawyer's punching arm, pulling back with a strength she didn't know she had.

"Sawyer! Stop! Leave him alone!" she yelled.

Sawyer tried to get his hand free but his momentum was broken regardless, "Back off Mama. This is between him and me."

"The hell it is!" cried Claire, still holding onto Sawyer and indicating the spectators that had collected around them "Just look around you. If you're trying to teach him a lesson you've done it. Now stop!"

Sawyer must have realized that he could walk away at that point with his dignity intact and not look like a loser. So with his head up he stood, looked at Claire and then down at Charlie, who lay curled up, wincing, protecting his stomach and his arm.

"You may think this is over, but you'd be wrong" threatened Sawyer and he turned on his heels and walked away. Immediately the crowd dispersed now that the show had ended.

Claire knelt down to Charlie. "Charlie, are you all right?" she asked.

Charlie looked at her defensively. He was obviously in pain as he tried to sit up but was trying not to show it. "I didn't need your help" he said, "and why do you suddenly care anyway?"

Claire sat down in the sand. She wasn't sure how to answer his question, so instead she offered one of her own.

"Why was Sawyer upset?" she asked.

Charlie looked at Claire. She could sense his reluctance. Finally he said, "Don't worry about it. I'll deal with it."

"Charlie……" Claire started, but Charlie put up his hand to silence her.

"Look, you've done your good deed for the day" said Charlie, "You can be off now."

Claire frowned, "Is that what you want?"

Charlie looked away, shaking his head, "I don't know, Claire. It's just……You didn't answer me before. Why the sudden concern?"

Claire sighed. Charlie was trying to push her away and she understood why. She thought she'd take a stab at a little honesty. "I was wrong" she said.

Charlie looked up with a smirk, amused, "Yeah?" he said, "about what?"

Claire responded, "When I said that there was no 'before'. With us. I didn't mean it. I was trying to hurt you."

"Well congratulations" muttered Charlie, looking away. Claire could tell he was still maintaining a distance. She didn't know if there was anything she could say or do to close the gap. Then she remembered his bandaged arm.

Pointing to it, she asked, "What happened?"

Perhaps it was something in the way she looked at him, or maybe Charlie just grew tired of keeping up a wall, but Claire noticed Charlie soften. He shrugged, "It's okay. I just got shot that's all."

"That's all?" repeated Claire, "What were you doing out there in the first place?"

"I don't know if you'd understand" said Charlie, looking away again and adding, almost to himself, "I'm not sure that I do."

Claire leaned forward to catch Charlie's gaze. "Charlie" she said, "I'm sorry about Ana. I know you were……close."

"Yeah" said Charlie, so quietly it was almost inaudible "Thanks."

Claire pressed on, "I know I don't have a right to ask this, but I was hoping that maybe you could learn to trust me again. You've been a good friend, and I haven't always been one in return. I'm sorry."

"You were protecting Aaron from a sodding junkie" said Charlie, "you were doing what you had to do. I understand. I guess after that you weren't going to believe anything I had to say. It was my own bloody fault."

They sat for a moment in silence, as Claire let Charlie's words sink in. She could tell that he was also deep in thought, as if a furious debate raged in his mind.

He spoke slowly, "The thing is……I was telling the truth. I really wasn't using the heroin I had. As long as I had you and Aaron I told myself I didn't need to. But after……well, after, let's just say I couldn't keep that promise to myself." Charlie looked at Claire, waiting for a reaction.

She was determined not to show him one. "You started again?" she asked.

Charlie nodded. Claire felt she was being tested. She knew if she freaked out he'd never trust her again. Calmly, she asked, "And are you using now?"

"No" said Charlie, emphatically. "I swear Claire. I was just so angry. At Locke……" he was staring at Claire and she thought he was about to say he was angry at her, but instead he said, "……at everything. It was bloody stupid and after a week I was a right mess. Jack helped me get clean. I don't even have the drugs anymore, he took them."

Claire sat, listening. Well that explained why he didn't look well, she thought. She was unsure where to go next. She wanted to be a friend to Charlie but she still had her child to consider and she was afraid of moving too fast or giving him the wrong idea. Before she could voice these concerns, Charlie spoke, as if reading her mind.

"Claire, I've got a lot of stuff to deal with right now. I know you need to look out for Aaron and you also want your space. Let's just take it slow alright?"

Claire smiled, relieved and nodded. "Sure" she said, "but if you need to talk or anything, I'm here, okay?"

Charlie smiled genuinely at Claire for the first time, "Okay."

They were interrupted by the sound of a baby crying. They turned their heads in the direction of the sound and Claire saw Rose coming towards them with Aaron. Claire thought the woman had the intuition of a psychic.

"I think he wants his mother," said Rose as she handed Aaron back to Claire.

"Thanks Rose" said Claire as she took him. Rose smiled back and quickly made an exit. Aaron stopped crying and was content. After a moment she looked up at Charlie, who was gazing at the both of them thoughtfully.

"I think he's missed you" she said, "would you like to hold him?"

Charlie smiled and held out his hands, taking Aaron carefully and resting the baby down in his lap to avoid his injured arm. Claire watched as Charlie visibly relaxed and Aaron smiled. "How've you been mate?" asked Charlie, "You've been looking out for your mum like I told you to?"

**THE END**


End file.
